life in the darkness

3 AM. Yes, 3 AM. The thoughts of my personal stuff going on still rumbling around. I went onto youtube and found a soprano, Aprile Millo. I’d never heard of her until today. She sounds rather like Jessie Norman. Now onto my musings. I feel there is a lot more pressure on me this year to do well in the festival. What with personal stuff going on. Do I bow out? No! That’s not the answer. I will keep going. I will do as other soprani have done before me. I will channel my emotions in with my voice. I always remember a quote from a former singing teacher. “L’arte di Scena” The art of the scene. How is the character feeling? Whilst on stage, I face the pressure and added challenge of the adudicators. What are they going to mark me down on? Lack of eye contact, lack of facial expression. Lack of acting skills? That is almost impossible for a soprano who is blind. I will not let that stop me though. As Callas once said: You don’t need jestures and acting to do a good performance. All you need is the music. Let the orchestra guide you. So back to that quote. How is the character feeling? Despair? Desperation? Anguish? Happiness? Joy? Love? She would say often: The voice is empty. Show me. Show me the emotion. She was old school Italian. I kind of liked that, but at the same time, she was very very severe. It wouldn’t take long before she had you in tears! I’m not sure but did many soprani before me have teachers that drove them to tears? Hmm! I will not give up on that dream of singing at the met and all the opera houses where our greats once stood. At least this year, I have the added support of my fiancé along with my Nan, godmothers and others. My fiancé collects many 78rpm records, of singers from the past. Ponsello, Caruso, Melber, Callas, Pons, Di-steffano. Corelli, to name but a few. I expect Sutherland is too late for the 78rpm era, but I’m sure she is in his collection. All I will say is, I hope my inspirations, Callas and sutherland among many others, are watching up there in heavon. Now though, I best try to sleep!