life in the darkness

yesterday, I listened to a podcast about the deception of Kelly Turner. Doctors were too quick to accept what she was saying about her daughter. Instead of doing tests and everything that they should have done, they did unnecessary surgery and things on her. When I listened to it, it did trigger me alittle. People like myself with chronic conditions, get gaslit and accused of faking our conditions, or we’re told it’s anxiety. When ever I go to the doctors now, I get nervous incase I’m wasting their time, or I’m bothering them. I always apologise. When I go for my cardiology appointments, I’m not asking for an ablation for the sake “of having one. Why would I? I understand the risks. I understand that it may not work. I understand it could give me more cardiac problems. It’s a last resort treatment for IST. Ivabradine worked, but it would mean coming off my citalopram, which I’m a little nervous to do. Would the outbursts come back? What would happen? It’s doable, but who knows. It’s people like Kelly etc who make us get acused of fabricating our illnesses. We are always told, we’re just anxious young women. Or our weight is used. IST is a recognised condition, that was discovered in 1979. Whilst I understand it will not kill me, the debilitating tachies every day are annoying and leave me tired and at times, short of breath and with pressure in my chest. Ivabradine caused chest pain hense why I was taken off it. That leaves one more option. Or 2, do nothing, or ablation. I have become tolerent to the Verapamil. I can’t have betablockers, as they trigger my asthma. The other CCBs did nothing. People should read the medical journals. As well as this, I’m not going to ask for tests I don’t need. For example, I’m not going to ask for an endoscopy, or colonoscopy, as I don’t need them. I’m not going to go in to the gp and say, refer me to gastroenterology, as I have gastroparesis. I’m not going to do that. But with cases like IST, it’s difficult to control. Very difficult! Paramedics don’t understand it. ED doctors do not understand you. Anxiety is on my records from the past, so they’ll use it against me. Also, what are they writing about me behind my back on my records? Nurses and doctors can do that. It’s been known. Please listen to us IST patients more! We’re not just anxious women! We have a real heart condition! A condition that is difficult to treat. Like I said above, it’s people like Turner and others that doctor shop and make it difficult for us! People online too, who are chronically ill themselves, sitting accusing others of faking, asking them to show their medical letters and proscriptions. It’s none of their business! There are communities on redditt that stalk others, watch their social media. 24 hours a day. Accuse them of scamming. Making up their illnesses when they have no proof. Just because someone is sicker than you, doesn’t mean they’re faking. You are not doctors yourselves. You have the conditions yes, but you can’t judge or diagnose others. People have trolled them. Mocked their looks, their hair, their conditions. It’s wrong and the hate needs to stop. The judgement from other chronicly ill people in the community both on facebook, tiktok and redditt needs to stop. Stop with the stalking, harassment and abuse. Stop watching them constantly. Obsessing over their lives. Laughing at them. You’re adults. Act like them.