life in the darkness

Good morning all. A few days ago, I had yet another crisis when it comes to rejection sensitivity. Iwon’t go into what happened, but it’s safe to say I got worked up and bombarded people. I usually do that if I don’t know where I stand or if I upset them, I try very hard to fix something that in my head, isn’t fixed, but in reality, it wasn’t broken. Friendships are the big one for me. It was my partner who noticed last night and wanted to try to help me. I thought in the past thanks to some other people, that I may have EUPD, which I didn’t want to accept. People usually run away, very fast from people with that diagnosis. Trolls used to say I have a personality disorder, but I used to think, if they’ve said that and it turns out I have one, they’ve won. They’ve got what they wanted. They would have people running away very quickly. They have that already. People telling others about me. Telling people I’m a stalker. I’m not. I would never stalk people. If I’ve had a misunderstanding between us, yes, I will probably message a lot, which I know I shouldn’t, just to find out where I stand. Their voices are another thing that upsets me. Are they cross? If they are, how can I fix said problem. Nan just tells me off, rather than working through said thing that might have happened. Kind of glad I can get someone who can, rather than her own mental health assumptions. You’re obsessed, you’re a stalker. You’re weird. I hate that! I’m now going to speak to gp tomorrow about being re-referred back to psych. I don’t want the dbt in groups though. I’m hoping I could have it one to one. I just want to thank my partner, Rob for standing by me, validating me last night, and offering his support. His defence saying I’ll defend you always. Thank you Rob. That means a lot. So, GP tomorrow morning and hopefully a referral to psych. If not, ! I will try myself