life in the darkness

Had a lovely chat to Ged, one of my tutors from RNC. He was telling me about the time we were both running in the field together and that I was laughing. I sadly don’t remember it. I can remember our meetings every week in the little room, where he would ask me how I was etc. How most of the time I was quite upset. The first time we met, I was crying and he had to calm me. I also found out we have religion in common. He went to lourdes with the Youth from Liverpool. What a strange thing our Lady and God are doing. Connecting me in many different ways! I will pray to our Lady and God to enable me to somehow, battle the barriers and become a doctor in the future. Just like Bolotin in the 20s. Hartman in the 70s, and cordes in the late 90s and 2000s. If they can and they are fully blind, why then can’t I. I have my singing yes. I love it and I have the honour of singing at Southlands next wednesday, which will be a first for me, as I’ve not sung in a care home before. I’ve sung in other places, like the villa, the manx Legion, Sight Matters, St Paul’s church Liverpool, St Vincent’s school for the blind and visually impaired in Liverpool, St George’s church Douglas, St Thomas’s Church in Douglas as part of the Guild. The civic centre in Castle town. To name just a fiew. There are probably others I’ve forgotten, but I have also sung in my happy place twice. Lourdes. As well, I’ve sung in walsingham. My happy place is what called me to Catholicism, when I was going through RCIA and I wasn’t sure. But in Lourdes, I knew. I knew I wanted to care for others. I knew I wanted to help them when they were in some type of distress. I ran to a lady’s aid when she was choking, even if it meant bumping into chairs on my way to her. I followed the sound. I sat with her, and held her hand. I spoke to her and also patted her hard on the back to help get up what she was struggling with. I talked softly to her telling her she’d be okay. That we were here beside her. That we were not leaving her and that I wouldn’t even when other forms of help arrived. Apparently I had calmed her a lot they said. I also helped a lady to open her yoghurt pots when she struggled at the table and put the spoon into the pot for her. I have comforted people at church before when they were crying. Giving them hugs. I feel a strange kind of pull toward doing that. I guess that is why I took Bernadette and Cecilia as my confirmation names. I think if I were male, I should have chosen Luke! Lol! Bernadette is the closest I can get, plus we both have asthma. She did and wasn’t trained as a doctor, but cared for people. I hope sometime, I will be able to go all the way. Anyway, enough of my long novels lol! Just talking to Nick on facetime. Virtual hugs all.