Good afternoon. Today was my last counselling session for a while. I have reflected on what I’ve had help with over the last 3 years. It’s been very good and helped me a lot. I’VE managed to rebuild (some) friendships, but not all. I have still got issues with empathy, I will admit that. I still have my fears of rejection, which will not go away. It never will. I know this too. I just have to learn to think rationally. Okay, that person needs space, but it doesn’t mean they’re going anywhere. I ruined a friendship because of that. Because of my irrational thinking. I thought she was going away from me, as everyone else did. I was, in the end, right I tried desperately to fix things, but the all’s in her court now. I just have to wait. Again. And pray the friendship may be rebuilt.
I have started talking to a lovely person I met when I was about 11 or 12. We met at an RNIB holiday at Carlton Lodge in Thursk. North Yorkshire. The lodge was sort of like a small mannor, with a guild games room, A hall where people could gather, a dining room, bedrooms both inside and out. They had dormitories where people could sleep, which the girls slept in and the boys would sleep outside in the outside single bedrooms. I enjoyed the holiday, as we got to go quadbiking, absaling, Zipwire, Obsticle kind of course, with Jacob’s ladder which is like a swinging ladder in trees. We got to go to a town nearbye called Whitby. It was a day-trip, which took us across the Yorkshire moores, which made me think of Wuthering heights by Emily Brontë. I wanted to get out of the bus and walk across the moores, but I wasn’t allowed. Alass, Nevermind. As well as the little play that me and another participant did. It sort of went well, but was a bit of a laugh too. It is lovely to reconnect with someone you have spoken with on and off over the years. Very interesting. To look back on memories too. Who knows what might happen, whilst I go to Lourdes in 2 weeks. Will there be a miracle of Lourdes? If so, what will it be? That’s for God to decide and our Lady.
life in the darkness 