A few months back, I’d caught a rotten chest infection, which lead to me having my first tonic-clonic seizure in 4 and a half years. In a way, I was quite frustrated, but also asking why. What had caused the breakthrough seizure? A month or so ago, I was at church. We’d headed in for refreshments when apparently, my left arm started shaking and was waving around in front of my face. My godmother ran to my aid. Someone helped her to get me on the floor, where I’d started seizing. After about 2 minutes, the seizure stopped. I came round to hear people singing my favourite hymn. The one I loved from Lourdes. We’d just sung it before in mass that morning. I could hear someone telling me to take deep breaths. I could hear someone struggling to breathe. I did not realise the person struggling to breathe, below me, was actually me. Eventually, I tried to move and respond, so was gently sat up and lifted onto my chair, where I started to wrech. Afterwards, confused and groggy, I was brought home by my other godmother. Was held by my shoulders and gently steered to the car. I got home and had some toast and a cup of tea, but promptly crashed into a 2 hour sleep. After that, my asthma has started playing up. I’m now back on steroids… for the second time this year! Still, nevermind. I’m back on track with my singing as from today. I’ve bought myself a new recording device to take to Lourdes with me and am figuring out the menu system, as this one does not speak. It’s not the end of the world though when you have a piece of equipment that does not speak, as you can get sighted assistance, then write down your own menu instructions. For example, how to count the amount of times one presses the arrow keys to get to certain parts of the menu that you require. I’ve also paired it up with my iphone and labelled the unlabelled images in the app by using screen recognission and labelling the images with the function on voiceover which allows you to label elements with your desired custom label. With that being successful, I can now change the recording settings as I wish. When I get the zoom H1, I will be able to do the same, regarding the menu instructions. I will have to write a document, with the list of menus, followed by what is in them and count the arrow key presses in each list, to select what you desire to do. Just because something does not speak does not mean you cannot use it. You can still make it accessible. Yes, with the help of sighted assistance, but it can still be done. Take advantage of the sighted assistance where required. You’ll be surprised what you can do.
Regarding friendship, It’s amazing how those people in the church helped me when they could have panicked. Seizures are quite scary to some. They could have left. They could have ran. They didn’t. My godmothers both stayed calm. As did a few others. They never left my side. Where online friendships are concerned, I trust ‘our lady and God to help give me the guidance and to repare them. I forgive everyone what ever they’ve done to me. Most of the breaking of friendships was my fault entirely, however certain people twisting stories and events, did cause a lot of misunderstandings as well and unnecessary stress for us all. One thing I’m sure of though, is that in time, I can repare things. I just have to have faith. Trust in God and our lady. And also, Lourdes and the spiritual feelings one gets when there. As well as the strength of prayer. I’m going in 5 weeks and I cannot wait! It’s going to be an exciting adventure once more and one I will never forget. Just as I’ve never forgotten 2019. And the friends I’ve made there, will be friends for life. As well as the friends I’ve made through them in Liverpool! Thank you. Thank you all.
life in the darkness 