life in the darkness

Thursday night, after the worst asthma attack I’d had, that had started in the early hours of that morning. I’D gone to the advanced nurse practicianer on the wednesday, who just told me it was viral and to take the paracetamol etc. Now though, the GP had given me prednisolone and ordered me to call an ambulance if I struggle at night. Unfortunately, that ultimatum came. It was 1 in the morning. Yes, you usually cough at night, but this time, I couldn’t get a breath in. I waited, used my ventolin, of which I’d already been using a lot of the day before. I had no choice. I had to call them. After letting Nan know, which made me feel bad, I rang. The call handler, who had a welsh accent, was very calm and nice about it. I took my inhaler as he instructed, then waited for the crew to arrive. This call was much more different. Me and Nan had to wear masks. We had to social distance. As much as possible. What I thought were the crew arrived. It was a responder or RRV. Rapid response vehicle. After checking my Sats, which were 95% we went to hospital after all the paper work had been filled in. WE arrived and I was placed in the Covid part of the waiting room. Even though my lateral flow was negative, I was still placed in there. I was then treaged. After speaking with the doctor, I was then brought into minors, and given a nebuliser of Ibratropium and salbutamol. Unfortunately that loosened up all the mucous and sputum on my chest, which meant the nebuliser was doing its job. Although that made me struggle to breathe! I couldn’t catch my breath. There was mucous all building in my throat very every time I exhaled, it bubbled and I was coughing. By this time, I was scared. I was on my own, struggling. The door to my room was open, and I could hear people pressing the buzzer. I thought, okay, someone will come soon. They’ve pressed the button, surely that means I’ll get help! I ended up walking out of my room andmanaged to find someone. The nurse was lovely. She brought me back down into my room and calmed me down. I ended up in tears. Eventually, the doctor came back very asked me what was the matter. I told him, I couldn’t breathe properly. There was sputum but it owdn’t come up. He told me the only thing I could do was cough it up. I couldn’t. It was making me wretch. The doctor kept saying: Stop fighting. Stop stifling it. It has to come up. Listen to your body. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t. in the end, after 3 times of the doctor telling me not to fight it, I ended up being given amoxicillin. No, I didn’t ask for them. The doctor just gave me them. Eventually, at 5:15 AM I was discharged from sent home in a taxi. Yes, A taxi. I have yet to speak to the GP for a review on Tuesday, to see how things have gone! But yes, that’s the adventure I did not want to happen. I just hope I didn’t allow covid to cross our threshold!